What might have been
by CASAO
Summary: An Alternate Universe story inspired by an episode of Stargate SG-1, What if Shinji were thrown from his own universe, and into another. Another universe, with different circumstances/
1. Chapter 1

Shinji gasps for air and, surprisingly, gets it. He opens his eyes and sees a the ceiling of the Eva cage, but something is different. As he looks around he figures it out. 'Who are all these people?' He tries to move but the effort knocks him back into unconsciousness with that thought echoing through his brain. Commander Fuyutski sits, staring at the monitor. 'Who is he, and why does he look so familiar?'. Sub-commander Ikari only has one thought in his mind.   
"Retrieve him and have him taken to a holding cell."   
"Yes commander." Once the guard is gone, Fuyutski turns to Ikari.   
"You have something on your mind. What?"   
"That's my son, professor."   
"What? How is that possible?"   
"I don't know."   
"Find out."   
"Yes, professor."  
  
Shinji wakes up to darkness. He sits and feels himself to be sure he is still intact. As he tries to remember the events that lead up to this, it hits him like a ton of bricks. He had been absorbed into the Sea of Driac during the last battle, and his battery power had run out. 'If it did, how am I still here?' Then, a clanking can be heard as the door is opened and light pierces the darkness. Shading his eyes and cringing, Shinji hears a familiar voice.   
"I will remain with him. Alone."   
"Yes sir." Shinji opens his eyes  
"Father."  
"My son, how is this possible?"  
"Why do you care, all you ever cared for was for yourself."  
"What do you mean?"  
"I thought I was pretty clear."  
"Son, I have done nothing but care for you, what Commander Fuyutski did was out of my power, I love you son."  
"Commander Fuyutski?"  
"Yes, Commander of NERV"  
"What's going on here? Where's Misato, I want to talk to Misato!"  
"Misato? Oh, Major Katsuragi. How do you know her, and why would you want to speak with her?"  
"Stop whatever games you're playing and let me see Misato!"  
"Calm down son. Please, calm down"  
"I WANT MISATO!"  
"YOU WILL STOP THIS INSTANT!" There was a hard gleam in Gendo's eyes, and steel in his voice. Shinji falls silent.  
'What is he up to? Why would he do this?'  
'How can he be here? How, how, HOW?'  
  
As Gendo's echo dies, the sound of approaching footsteps can be heard. The door opens, and in steps Yui Ikari. Her eyes fall straight to Gendo and she steps next to him, looking him in the eyes.  
"I came as soon as I heard, is it true?"  
"I'm not sure. He looks like our son. Maybe it is true."  
"How could it be?"  
"I don't know."  
During this, Shinji's eyes have gone wide, and his mouth moves, but no words come out. Finally, he is able to rasp out one word.  
"Mom." Yui turns sharply and sees Shinji. Her eyes go wide and she takes a step backward, into Gendo's arms. There is her son, alive and well. Her eyes well up with tears.  
"Shinji!" She breaks free of Gendo's arms and hugs Shinji. They are both crying.  
"Yui, are you sure this is Shinji?"  
"Yes. I don't know how he's here, but it's him. It's our Shinji!" Gendo takes a step forward, helps them both up and embraces them.  
"You're alive, I don't understand how, and I don't care, you're alive!"  
Shinji attempts to speak through the sobs, but is unable.  
"It's ok, it's ok, mama's here for you, mama's here. Just let it all out."  
"Mom... how?"  
"What?"  
"You.... you're dead. I've seen you. Inside my Eva. How?"  
"He's in shock, he's hallucinating. Let's get him out of here and into the hospital."  
"Yui, I don't know..." "DAMNIT Gendo, this is OUR SON."  
"You're right, we'll get him out of here, somewhere comfortable." Gendo goes to speak with the guard.  
"Shhhh it's alright baby, it's alright. Mama's here. Mama's here."  
  
Shinji returns to consciousness peacefully to find Yui sitting by his bed. He stares at her, without making any noise, just staring at her in utter disbelief.  
'How.' The question echoes through his mind as he slips back into unconsciousness.  
Yui looks over at her peacefully sleeping son. Everyone always said how much he looked like her, but she had always seen more of Gendo than herself in him. He had the same deep blue eyes that had made her fall so deeply in love, the same jet black hair. She leaned over, kissed his brow, and wondered to herself what she had done to deserve such a miracle. 


	2. Chapter 2

Shinji slowly drifts to consciousness and opens his eyes. Sleeping in a chair in the corner is his mother, Yui Ikari. The same Yui Ikari who had died in an experiment 12 years earlier.  
'How? Am I dreaming? Is it really her?' Gendo walks in and walks to Shinji's side.  
"You're awake."  
"Yes. What is going on?"  
"We're not sure."  
"How is she here?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Mom, how is she here? She died 12 years ago. YOU killed her, in an experiment."  
"What experiment?"  
"The first activation test of Unit-01. She was absorbed."  
"Shinji... your mother was never involved in any activation tests. Not as a pilot anyway."  
"I remember it though. I was there"  
"... yes. You where. Your mother brought you to watch Mankind's greatest acheivement. The activation of an Evangelion. She's never forgiven herself for it."  
"Why would she have to."  
"I... I don't know how to say this, but the Eva went berserk. We evacuated the command center, but you wouldn't move. It smashed the glass and..."  
"But... if that's true, how am I here? Why am I still alive?"  
"That's our question too. Dr. Akagi will be here soon to perform some tests. Hopefully they will have some answers."  
'Ritsuko...'  
  
Dr. Akagi walks in and looks at Shinji.  
'That is definately him. I would recognize his features anywhere....' "Good afternoon."  
"Good afternoon, Doctor"  
"If I could have some time alone with the patient, we can begin."  
"Of course." Gendo lifts Yui and carries her out. Over his shoulder her eye opens. She spots Ritsuko as Gendo walks out the door.  
"Well. Shinji. This is.... awkward. After what the Eva did... I was there that say. I saw it. I still see it."  
"..."  
"Right, anyway, let's get to business. I'm just going to need a few samples."  
"Ritsuko."  
"Yes?" Somehow it sounded natural coming from him, so she let it slide.  
"Where is Misato?"  
"Major Katsuragi is debriefing the remaining pilot."  
"Pilot?"  
"Yes, of the Evangelion."  
"Only one?"  
"Yes." Shinji's heart beats faster.  
"... who?"  
"Rei Ayanami, the first child." Shinji closes his eyes as he prepares to ask his next question.  
"What about Asuka?"  
"Who?"  
"Asuka, Asuka Langley Sohryu, the second child."  
"Oh, her. She's Nerv's German branch, I guess. I imagine she will be called over soon, to replace the third child."  
"The third child?"  
"Yes, a young man by the name of Touji."  
"What.... what happened to him?"  
"We don't know. He was absorbed into the Sea of Driac during the battle. The Eva had surely lost power, when it burst forth. We recovered it, but inside, we found... well... you."  
"Then he's dead? Because of me?"  
"We don't know that for certein. And he is replacable."  
At the coldness of her voice, Shinji stops and cooperates with Ritsuko, to get her out as fast as possible.  
'Replaceable. He was a human being, but all she can see is that he is "replacable".'  
  
Yui and Gendo are out in the hallway during this exchange.  
"It's really him, isn't it?"  
"Yes."  
"How can you be so sure?"  
"Call it.... mother's intuition."  
"You're a scientist, how can you believe that nonsense?"  
"Science IS intuition. Coming up with a gut instinct and following through on it." Gendo smiles.  
"You're right." Yui smiles.  
"Of course I am, did you expect something different?"  
"No. And that's why I love you so much."  
"I love you too."  
"I know." A brief pause.  
"Gendo Honey?"  
"Yes?"  
"Put me down please."  
"And if I don't want to?"  
"Why, then I'll just have to kiss you into submission."  
"Sounds horrible. Absolutely horrible."  
"Oh it is."  
"Let's try it, shall we?"  
"Let's."  
  
Ritsuko returns to her office and slumps into her chair. Shinji was alive. More than that, he appeared to be fully normal, exactly as the records showed he should be. She was, in short, astounded. Misato walks in, grabs a cup of coffee and looks at Ritsuko's monitor.  
"Who's that."  
"Shinji Ikari, Yui and Gendo's son."  
"I heard about that, the activation experiment of Unit-01. Very sad."  
"It was. They were both were complete wrecks for months, neither of them were able to function."  
'Ritsuko can never see the human side of it...' "Why are you looking at his records?"  
"Something very strange has happened. The strange boy who emerged from the entry plug appears to be him."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"He has identical DNA, and both parents are firmly convinced it's him."  
"You're not so sure."  
"No. It violates every law of science we know of."  
"But I'm sure science has an explination."  
"That's what I'm trying to find. Unfortunately, nothing is forthcoming."  
"You'll figure it out."  
"I hope so."  
  
Shinji is released from the hospital and moves in with his parents. He begins to learn the differences in this world. Gendo and Proffessor Fuyutski are reversed, and Yui is alive. Asuka is still in Germany. Touji was the third child. It all looked the same, but... it FELT different.  
'What's happening? Why is everything so different?'  
"Hey, new boy!" Shinji has started school.  
"Yes?"  
"Where's Touji. He disappeared in the last fight, and then you show up. What's going on?"  
"I.. I'm not sure myself." 'Why is Kensuke acting like this?'  
"*hmph*, I'm sure you don't."  
"I really don't. Look, why don't we be friends? My name is Shinji Ikari."  
"Ikari? Now I really don't believe you. You're the subcommander's, not to mention the head of Project-E's son."  
"... Yes."  
"Whatever they're doing, tell them to stop. I want my friend back."  
"y... yes." Kensuke walks away  
'Why on Earth was he acting like that? Kensuke's nothing like that normally.'  
  
Rei looks over at her brother. He is staring off into space while the teacher drones about the nuances of pre-third impact life. She smiles to herself.   
'He's fitting in already.' After the bell, she walks over to him.  
"Hello, brother."  
"Brother? What do you mean Rei?"  
"Well, you're my brother! What else would I mean?"  
"You're.... my sister. I have a sister?"  
"They haven't told you yet? Then how did you know my name?"  
"Nevermind. You're my sister." He stands up and hugs her.  
'Well, I take it he likes the idea.' She hugs him back.  
"I love you, Rei." 


	3. Chapter 3

Shinji thinks back to the beginning of school, when he had first seen Hikari in this world. She was still the class rep, and acted the same. But there was something different about her, like everyone else.  
  
"Hello, I am Hikari Horaki, class representative." She seemed distracted.  
  
"Hi, I'm Shinji Ikari, nice to meet you."  
  
"Nice to meet you too. Your seat is right over there. The teacher will introduce you, then you may sit."  
  
"Thank you." The teacher introduced him and he sat down and wondered about Hikari.  
  
'She is distracted. She's normally much more cheerful than this. I wonder what is wrong. I'll talk to her at lunch.'  
  
Lunch came and Shinji sat next to Hikari. She smiled at him, but still seemed to be thinking of something else.  
  
"Excuse me if I'm intruding, but you seem to be a bit distracted. Is something wrong?"  
  
"No no... nothing... yes."  
  
"What's wrong, if I may ask."  
  
"Well... right before you transfered in, another student, Touji Suzuhara, disappeared. He was the pilot of the giant robot, and I'm scared what might've happened to him."  
  
"Oh. Are you close to him?" Hikari blushes.  
  
"Yes, he was my boyfriend."  
  
"Oh, it must be very hard for you. Is there anything I can do to help?"  
  
"No, no... I'm sorry to lay my troubles on you. You're the new kid, that must be problematic enough as it is."  
  
"No apologies nessecary. I'm very good at listening. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you."  
  
"Thank you Shinji. You're very easy to talk to."  
  
"It's my pleasure." Shinji smiles. Hikari blushes.  
  
Rei slides open Shinji's door and steps in. It's dark inside, with Shinji lieing on his futton listening to his SDAT player. Somehow, it seemed exactly as it should be.  
  
"Shinji?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Oh, good, you're awake. How are you?"  
  
"I'm... okay. It's weird, but everything just seems right here. It's as if this were the life I was meant to have."  
  
"What do you mean, 'as if'. Of course it's the life you were meant to have. If you hadn't died in that acciden.... *giggle* this feels weird."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Talking about you as if you were dead, it feels weird. How did you manage that, anyway?"  
  
"I'm not entirely sure. All I know is, one moment I'm ready to die, the next I'm here. Nothing makes any sense."  
  
"Well, what's the last thing you remember."  
  
"I'm in Unit-01 an-" Rei cuts him off.  
  
"You were in Unit-01? Why?"  
  
"I am.. I WAS the designated pilot."  
  
"You were killed when you were 3. How could you be the pilot?"  
  
"That's the strange thing. I have memories. They differ from what happened. Like the accident. It wasn't me that died, it was my... our mother. She was absorbed by Unit-01. I watched it happen. And then Father abandoned me. He forced himself into his work, became the commander of Nerv. I was passed around till I ended up with my teacher. Then I got a letter. When I arrived, the city was under attack by an Angel. The third Angel. When I refused to pilot, they were going to make you do it. And so I piloted it. And you were the pilot of Unit-00. But you weren't my sister."  
  
"If I wasn't your sister, who was I?"  
  
"I... I don't know. You were very... alone. You wouldn't connect with anyone except Father. It made for a tough time to get to know you."  
  
"This is intresting. I wonder what it might mean, how all of this happened. I'm going to talk to Mom about this. You just get some rest. We'll figure this out." Rei walked out, and Shinji rolled over and fell asleep.  
  
Shinji is awoken the next morning to classical music. Lieing there, listening for a while, he smiles as he recognizes the peice. He raises his body and walks to the door. Outside, he walks toward his parents room, where the sound of a Chello and a Viola can be heard. He looks in the open door and sees his parents playing. Rei walks up behind him and watches over his shoulder. His parents are completely absorbed and don't notice their children until the song ends and they applaude. The family smiles.  
  
  
  
Gendo and Shinji go for a walk and a breath of fresh air. Gendo attempts to make conversation, but Shinji deflects most of his attempts. Gendo decides to get to his point.  
  
"You have a synch test today."  
  
"What?"  
  
"A synch test. It's where you sit inside an Evangelion and attempt to synchronize yourself with it."  
  
"I know, but I'm not a pilot, why are you testing me."  
  
"Without the Third Child, we need another pilot. It is an extreme circumstance, so I'm asking you to help. We can give you basic training, and you won't be expected to fight right away."  
  
"No."  
  
"Son, please, we need your help."  
  
"No, get Kensuke Aida, he wants to be a pilot so bad."  
  
"Son, PLEASE. We need help, and I think you're the only one who can help us. Just one synch test, to see if it will work, and we can go from there."  
  
"Fine, ONE synch test."  
  
"Thank you son."  
  
Shinji arrives at Nerv HQ with his sister and heads toward his father's office. He knocks, and the door opens. Shinji steps inside and immediately notices a difference. The room is much brighter, and Fuyutski is sitting at the desk. Shinji remembers his father isn't the commander and so he has a different office.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I'm sorry sir, I'm in the wrong office. I'll leave."  
  
"No, stay for a moment. I want to talk to you."  
  
"Yes, sir?"  
  
"You might not know me, I am Commander Fuyutski."  
  
"I know of you, sir."  
  
"Really? Hmmmm, intresting. I know you, I knew you when you were a little baby."  
  
"You did?"  
  
"Yes, I did. I've never had children of my own, but I've always considered Yui my daughter. In fact, I walked her down the aisle at her wedding. I felt like your grandfather, and it was hard to see you... to see you die."  
  
"I imagine it would be."  
  
"I'm being kind of selfcentered, aren't I? It must've been extremely hard to die."  
  
"I wouldn't know."  
  
"No? Why not?"  
  
"I don't remember anything about it. I have a complete set of memories from another, completely different life."  
  
"Really? Now that is intresting."  
  
"Is it? I think it's just weird. Maybe it's my way of coping with my death and rebirth."  
  
"Maybe..."  
  
"Do you have another idea, commander?"  
  
"Shinji, do you understand the Quantum Theory?"  
  
"The what?" Fuyutski smiles.  
  
"I didn't think so. The Quantum Theory is extremely complex, and would take many lifetimes of study to completely understand. But the jist of it is that every choice, or event, or anything where there's more than one possible action creates an alternate universe. If one choice is made differently, an entirely different universe is created, with different circumstances than every other one. Do you understand?"  
  
"Kind of, but what does this have to do with me?"  
  
"Some people believe it is possible to transfer between dimensions. I believe that when you were trapped inside the Sea of Driac, such a thing happened."  
  
"So my memories are real? I don't belong here?"  
  
"That's my guess."  
  
"So how do I get back to my own world?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
Shinji is sitting in the entry plug of Unit-01. There are technitions doing their job, making sure the activation and synch test go flawlessly. Dr. Ritsuko Akagi is overseeing the proceedure. Rei's picture appears inside his entry plug.  
  
"Just relax Shinji, don't work too hard or you'll miss it. Let it come to you." She smiles.  
  
"Thanks Rei."  
  
"No problem." Her picture disappears. Shinji thinks for a second, and then reopens the channel.  
  
"Hey Rei?"  
  
"Yes Shinji?"  
  
"Why do you pilot?"  
  
"Why do I pilot?"  
  
"Yes, why do you pilot?"  
  
"I pilot because... I pilot because I can."  
  
"Is that your only reason?"  
  
"No, I pilot because Humanity needs pilots, and I'm one of the Children. Without pilots, the Angels would win, and we don't want that to happen."  
  
"Of course... so, you pilot for the sake of others?"  
  
"Well, I guess you could put it that way."  
  
"Thank you Rei."  
  
"Why do you ask?"  
  
"Just curious I guess, just curious."  
  
"Whatever Shinji." 


	4. Chapter 4

Shinji picks up the phone. It is about 11pm and he was just getting ready for bed when the phone started ringing.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi Shinji... it's Hikari. You... you said I could come to you if I needed help?"  
  
'She sounds like she's been crying' "Of course. What's wrong Hikari?"  
  
"Well... it's...... It's just, I've been thinking... about Touji." The words seem to come hesitently, as if she were fighting something inside her.  
  
"What about him?"  
  
"I'm... I'm scared. What could've happened to him?"  
  
"Don't worry, don't worry. Nerv is working on it, it's one of their top priorities. Don't worry."  
  
"But... but... but what if I don't get him back? What would happen to me then? I don't know if I could live with that. I love him so much." The dam breaks.  
  
"Shhhhhh, don't worry. Don't worry yourself, Touji's a pilot. They're going to bring him back."  
  
"What if they can't? What if he's... he's not THERE to bring back?"  
  
"He'll be there. He's strong, he'll be there."  
  
"What if he's not? What if he's dead? I don't know if I could go on if Touji were dead."  
  
"He's not dead, and he's not going to die. They're going to bring him back, and he'll be fine. You'll see."  
  
"Shinji... could you... could you come over? I just need to be with someone." He hesitates, then remembers Rei is asleep and his parents are working late at Nerv.  
  
"Of course, I'll be right over."  
  
"Thank you, Shinji"  
  
Gendo walks into Fuyutski's office and takes a seat across from Fuyutski. The commander of Nerv looks up at his old student.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"We've made progress in recovering the Third Child."  
  
"Stop."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Stop researching that. It is a waste of funds."  
  
"But sir, we need to recover the pilot."  
  
"Shinji is a suitable replacement. Indeed, a supereor replacement."  
  
"My Shinji? He can't be a pilot. He WON'T be a pilot."  
  
"He can be, and he will be."  
  
"I will NOT force my son to pilot against his will."  
  
"You won't have to. He will pilot of his own free will."  
  
"I doubt that."  
  
"Have faith in me, Gendo."  
  
"I try. But even if Shinji is to be a replacement, why can we not still retrieve the Third Child? He would be a valuable backup, and indeed, when the next unit arrives he can pilot it."  
  
"Gendo, have you forgotten what happened the last time we tried to retreive a pilot? Dr. Akagi, I believe you were friends with her."  
  
"... Yes, we were. But Dr. Akagi has come up with a new theory, which has an estimated 43.000001% chance of success."  
  
"That is still failure. Stop the development, we do not need the Third Child."  
  
"... Yes sir."  
  
Shinji is sitting next to Hikari. Again. They're laughing and having a good time.  
  
'How could she do that? This is the guy who probably got Touji shipped away, and she's making friends with him?' After lunch he meets up with Hikari.  
  
"Hello Kensuke."  
  
"Don't hello me. How could you do that?"  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"THAT! Make friends with Ikari."  
  
"Shinji is.... a great friend, and he's helping me. He's a great help..."  
  
"He's also the reason Touji got sent away."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"He's the subcommander's son. He got Touji sent away, and he's gonna replace him. I'm sure of it."  
  
"You're wrong, Shinji told me what's happened to Touji."  
  
"And he wouldn't lie?"  
  
"Shinji's a nice person. He doesn't lie."  
  
"Bull shit."  
  
"Mr. Aida. Watch your language in the school."  
  
"You should watch yourself Hikari. Shinji is trouble. Stay away from him."  
  
"You don't own me."  
  
Kensuke walks up to Shinji after school is out and shoves him. Shinji turns and looks to see who it is, and is amazed to see Kensuke.  
  
"What're you doing?"  
  
"Something I should've done before."  
  
"What do you mean? What's your problem."  
  
"YOU'RE my problem. First you get Touji reassigned, then you start putting moves on Hikari. What kind of sick person are you?"  
  
"Whoa, I'm not putting moves on Hikari."  
  
"That's bull shit. I saw you two at lunch. You're putting moves on Hikari."  
  
"I'm not. She wanted help. I'm giving it to her."  
  
"I don't believe you."  
  
"That's your own loss." Shinji starts to walk away.  
  
"Hey. Hey! HEY!" Kensuke runs up and punches Shinji. He just takes it and continues walking. Kensuke turns around and heads toward his house.  
  
Rei sees her brother and Kensuke fighting, and runs after him. She catches up and matches her pace.  
  
"What was that about?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"It seems a little serious to be nothing."  
  
"It was seriously nothing."  
  
"C'mon, I'm your sister. You can tell me."  
  
"It's really nothing. Don't worry about it."  
  
"Shinji?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You're a terrible liar."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Wanna tell me the truth?"  
  
"Maybe later, I have to think about it."  
  
"Okay, I'm hear to listen if you need it."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"All I ask in return is that you cook lunch from now on. The instant stuff we have is terrible." Shinji laughs.  
  
"You've got a deal." 


	5. Author's Note

I want to apologize to anyone who's been reading this fic. There's been a major delay since the last chapter. I took a week or so off to rest, and when I came back, FanFiction.net was down. I wrote chapters 5 and 6 while I was waiting, and it soon came up. However, for one reason or another, I was not able to upload any files on my account(not me or my friends using my account). After that, I had a sudden flood of real life problems and stopped trying. Here are chapters 5 and 6, and I hope to have chapter 7 up by friday. Please remember to review, as I love to hear input from the readers. Thanks for sticking with the story. 


	6. Chapter 5

My first author's note. Heh, well, I just want to take a minute to thank you if you've read this far. If you enjoy the series, please leave me some feedback in reviews, or email me at CASAO@hacked-xbox.com, I'm intrested in what you have to say. Anyway, a bit about where this is taking place. The story starts around the 12th angel, the one with the Sea of Driac inside of it. Shinji has been absorbed into it, and after he should've died, he finds himself back in Nerv. However, it's a different reality, where Rei is his sister, his mother wasn't the test pilot for Unit-01, and... oh yes, he was killed during the activation experiment. There's also a difference in the normal world. The 13th Angel, Unit-03, comes before Shinji was absorbed, though Touji was still the pilot. Just thought I'd mention this, so the episode makes a bit more sense. Thanks again for reading, and please give me feedback.  
  
Shinji is eating lunch with her. Again. It was now a daily thing, he and Hikari would sit together and have lunch, all smiles and cheerful. After school, they would walk to one of their houses, and once they were inside, their smiles would disappear and they'd talk about serious things. Mostly they would talk about Touji.  
  
"How did you and Touji first meet Hikari?"  
  
"Well, back in the third grade, I was very shy. We had play time every day, and I would sit down in a corner and play with a toy. And every day, this big kid came over and demanded I give him the toy. And I always did, because I didn't want to get in trouble for not sharing. Anyway, one day, I brought my favorite toy, and the kid comes over. He tells me to give him the toy, and I say 'No'. The kid gets angry, and kicks me. Touji sees this, comes over and pushes the kid down."  
  
"So he was your knight in shining armor?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's a western thing, they used to have Knights, sort of like Samurai, and there would be fair maidens being bullied by monsters and robbers and things like that. Then, a knight would come along, a very heroic knight, dressed in shining silver armor with a sharp sword and he would vanquish the dragon or slay the robbers."  
  
"Yes, that's what it was like. Exactly. A knight in shining armor..."  
  
"So that's when you fell in love with him?" Hikaro Blushes.  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"That's a great story."  
  
"Tell me Shinji, did you ever love anyone?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
"C'mon Shinji, I've sat here and talked about Touji for weeks now, and you've never said a thing about yourself. You must've fallen in love at some point."  
  
"To tell the truth... I have. She was beautiful, an intelligent, and she stood up for herself. She was perfect."  
  
"You're talking in past tense, what happened?"  
  
"Well... she was in my old home, and when I... left, I guess that's as good a word as any, when I left, I had to leave her."  
  
"Surely you've called her."  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I... I can't explain why not. I just can't."  
  
"What was her name?"  
  
"Asuka."  
  
Gendo watches his son come home from school, late again. He wonders where the boy has been going, but doesn't ask.  
  
"Shinji, I need to talk to you."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"We need you to be the designated pilot of Unit-01."  
  
"Why? What about Touji?"  
  
"As you know, he's disappeared into the Sea."  
  
"Yes, but you're going to retrieve him."  
  
"No, we're not."  
  
"Wha... what do you mean?"  
  
"The commander has decided that expending the effort and funds to retrieve a pilot when we have a suitable replacement is illogical. We won't be retrieving him."  
  
"What if I refuse to pilot?"  
  
"Then we will select another child."  
  
"That could take months."  
  
"No Shinji, it won't."  
  
"What? Why not?"  
  
"We have a list of suitable candidates."  
  
"Then let one of them pilot it."  
  
"We'd prefer you Shinji, you have a synch ratio beyond anything we've seen before."  
  
"I won't do it."  
  
"Please Shinji, please consider it. I don't want to have to hurt one of your new friends."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Just consider piloting it. Please Shinji." Shinji walks into his room, slams the door and puts on his SDAT. He drifts into a fitful sleep.  
  
Hikari sees Shinji sitting at a table, and she heads over toward him. He sees her and waves her off. She looks upset and goes to find an empty seat. She sits next to Rei.  
  
"What's up with Shinji?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"He just waved me away. He's sitting over there all alone, it's not like him."  
  
"Oh... he's been that way since he had a talk with dad last night. Dunno what they talked about, but Shinji went into his room, slammed the door, and didn't come out. When I woke up my lunch was on the table, and he had left."  
  
"I wonder what they talked about. It's not like Shinji to be upset like this. Maybe I should help him."  
  
"No, it's not. Why are you so intrested?"  
  
"Well, we're really good friends. And he's helped me alot, I want to repay the favor."  
  
"Is that all?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean, are you intrested in him?"  
  
"Intrested? Wha.... oh. OH. No, I'm not. We're really good friends, that's all. Besides, he's intrested in someone else."  
  
"What? Who?"  
  
"I dunno, someone from his old town. Said her name was... what was it now... Asuka? That sounds right. Do you know her?"  
  
"mmmm No."  
  
"Hmmm... I'm gonna try to talk to him later. Thanks."  
  
"No problem." Hikari walks away. 'Heh, nice try, but I saw the jealousy in your eyes when you mentioned his crush. You want him...'  
  
Shinji is walking home when he hears someone running behind him. He turns and sees Hikari coming up behind him. He keeps walking like he doesn't see her.  
  
"Shinji. Shinji! Wait, Shinji! Why won't you talk to me Shinji?" Shinji stops.  
  
"I'm sorry Hikari, but I just can't talk to you right now."  
  
"Why not? What did I do?"  
  
"Nothing, you did nothing. Don't worry, I'm just...."  
  
"Rei told me about the fight you had with your dad. What happened?"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it."  
  
"Tough Shinji. You were there for me, and I want to be there for you."  
  
"You don't understand Hikari. You CAN'T understand."  
  
"Why NOT?"  
  
"It's just... you can't understand."  
  
"I can't if you don't tell me."  
  
"I can't tell you. I just can't. Maybe someday I'll be able to, but right now, I can't." Shinji starts walking again.  
  
"Ok... I'll be here if you need me." Hikari turns around and walks back to her house.  
  
"Thank you... "  
  
Rei knocks on Shinji's door. There's no answer. She knocks again, but again no reply. She knocks a third time, and gets a grunt as a reply.  
  
"Shinji, open the door. I want to talk to you."  
  
"Go away."  
  
"Shinji, please, open the door. I want to talk to you."  
  
"Well I don't want to talk to you. GO AWAY."  
  
"Shinji, I'm not going to go away, so you either open this door or I'll open it myself." The door opens and Shinji is standing there.  
  
"What."  
  
"Shinji, you look like crap."  
  
"Hello to you too. Come in. Or don't, whatever." She steps inside and takes a seat.  
  
"I'm sorry, but you look.. you just look awful. What's wrong Shinji?"  
  
"It's nothing you could understand."  
  
"Try me."  
  
"No."  
  
"Shinji, if you don't talk about it, you won't feel better."  
  
"I don't want to talk. I just want it all to go away. I thought this world would be better. No more fights, no more angels. Nothing."  
  
"What makes you think we wouldn't have angels?"  
  
"I don't know, it felt right. And I wouldn't be piloting anymore, there wouldn't be any more pain."  
  
"So? Why is there pain?"  
  
"Because... they want me to pilot."  
  
"That's great! You could pilot Unit-03 with me an-"  
  
"Not 03. 01."  
  
"But that's Touji's Eva."  
  
"Not anymore... nothing is Touji's anymore."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Touji's not coming back."  
  
"What do you mean?" Shinji stares at her for a minute. "Oh... OH! Who told you?"  
  
"Dad. He told me Fuyutski decided I will pilot 01 instead. That I will be a better pilot."  
  
"But... but what about Touji?"  
  
"He said I was a suitable replacement, and they won't expend the time or effort to retrieve him."  
  
"But... but why?"  
  
"I don't know. I don't want to accept it either. But I have to."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because if I don't pilot, someone else will. Someone I know. Dad told me that."  
  
"He can't know... the Marduk Report-"  
  
"is fake. It's a hoax. Nerv controls the children. They know who's a candidate and who isn't."  
  
"That... that can't be true. Nerv doesn't have that kind of power."  
  
"Rei, you pilot a 25 story biomechanical robot. I think they have any kind of power they need."  
  
"I... I can't believe that."  
  
"It's the truth. Now, if you just want to argue about it, please leave. I need to get my rest." Rei walks out and closes the door behind her.  
  
Shinji tosses and turns, trying to find restful sleep, but it is eluding him. Finally, he picks up the phone and dials a number. There are some rings, then a groggy voice answers.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hikari? I... I need to talk to you."  
  
"Shinji? What is it?"  
  
"Well... I need to talk to you in person. Can I come over?"  
  
"Ummm... yeah, come over. I'll be waiting."  
  
"Ok. Hikari?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I have... just, just... never mind, I'll tell you when I get over there."  
  
"Ok." 


	7. Chapter 6

Rei and Shinji are home alone. Their parents are still out at Nerv, working. Like always. Rei is used to being alone, but she doesn't think Shinji is. She's sitting in the living room, channel surfing, when she hears Shinji's door open.  
  
"Shinji?"  
  
"Hi." He walks toward the door.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"I... I'm going for a walk. A long walk, I'll be back in a few hours."  
  
"This walk wouldn't be in the direction of Hikari's house, would it?"  
  
"What makes you say that?"  
  
"A hunch."  
  
"Well, it's wrong. I'm just going for a walk. I have to clear my mind. It'll take a while, don't wait up."  
  
"I won't. Shinji?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Have fun at Hikari's"  
  
Kensuke watches as Hikari opens the door and Shinji goes inside. They hadn't met after school, and Kensuke had gotten his hopes up. But now this is happening. He sits down on the cough to think about it. He doesn't get up for a long time.  
  
  
  
Hikari opens the door and Shinji walks in. She smiles at him, but he doesn't smile back. Her smile fades and she leads him to the living room.  
  
"Would you like a cup of tea Shinji?"  
  
"Yes, please."  
  
"Just a minute, I have some ready." She walks out to the kitchen and returns with two cups of green tea.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"You're welcome." There's a long pause. Both of them take small sips of tea, but no one says anything. Then, Shinji breaks the silence.  
  
"I'm sorry Hikari, I shouldn't've come. It was stupid, I didn't mean to bother you. I'll go now."  
  
"No, it's not a bother. I... I wasn't sleeping. Please, stay." There's another silence. "Do you need any sugar? Milk? Cream maybe?"  
  
"No thank you." There's one more pause, as the tension builds. Finally, Shinji can't take it. "Hikari. I... I have to tell you something."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, today, when I was avoiding you... it wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, I... I had a lot to think about. I still do..."  
  
"I understand. When Touji first disappeare-" Shinji winces at Touji's name, and Hikari notices. "What? What's wrong?"  
  
"Touji's one of the things I've been thinking about."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"They want me to pilot."  
  
"So when Touji gets back, you can be good friend. Do you know what your robot will look like?"  
  
"Yes... they want me to pilot Unit-01."  
  
"That's Touji's... isn't it?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"So what will Touji pilot?"  
  
"He... he won't be piloting."  
  
"That's great! We'll have time to spend together."  
  
"No. You won't."  
  
"Why... why not? He doesn't have to pilot, they'll let him free, won't they?"  
  
"They can't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because... well... this is hard to say."  
  
"What? Just say it, I can take it."  
  
"Hikari," Shinji takes a deep breath, "they won't be letting him free because... he won't be here to be free."  
  
"He's being reassigned? Where to? Germany? The US? Where?"  
  
"No. He's not being reassigned, he-" He stops. "He's not being retrieved."  
  
"Wh... Wh... What do you mean?"  
  
"Nerv won't expend the time and effort to retrieve him. They say that I'm a suitable replacement. I'm so sorry."  
  
"My Touji... my Touji, gone forever? No, it can't be. You promised. You promised that they'd retrieve him!"  
  
"I know... I know Hikari, believe me, I know. I feel like such a total jerk. I wish there was something I could do."  
  
"What if you didn't pilot? What then? They'd have to bring him back, wouldn't they?"  
  
"No. They could get a replacement."  
  
"But... but... " Hikari can't say anything else and she breaks down crying. Shinji holds her in his arms and she cries onto his shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." Shinji keeps repeating it over and over, hoping it will help. Hikari continues crying.  
  
Shinji walks out of Hikari's house, looking like he hasn't gotten any sleep. His clothes are a mess, so is his hair. Kensuke sees him and steps out of the shadow. He walks up to Shinji and pushes him from behind. Shinji turns around and sees Kensuke.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"This." Kensuke slugs Shinji in the face as hard as he can. Shinji looks surprises as he falls to the ground.  
  
"What the fuck are you do-" Shinji's cut off as Kensuke kicks him in the ribs. He rolls over and holds his side.  
  
"You ASSHOLE. You fucking ASSHOLE."  
  
"What are yo-" Shinji is cut off again as Kensuke starts kicking him in the ribs again. He rolls into a fetal position and Kensuke stomps on his side.  
  
"What kind of fucking sicko are you to take advantage of Hikari like that? You disgust me." Shinji just groans. After five minutes, Kensuke has kicked Shinji's back, sides and head till he has blood everywhere. Kensuke spits on Shinji, then turns back toward his house. "If you EVER take advantage of Hikari like that again, this will seem like nothing. Got that?" Shinji doesn't reply. "I said you GOT THAT?" Shinji lets out a low moan. Kensuke looks satisfied, grabs his things and goes to school.  
  
Hikari looks at her clock. School's starting, and she's late. She's never been late before. The class representative CAN'T be late. But she's still at home, and school is starting. She's late. She gets dressed and makes lunch for the day slowly. School's been going for 2 hours before she's ready to leave. She opens the door, and sees a bloody body lieing there in the street. She walks toward the school, but just a foot past the body she stops. She turns around and looks at the body. It's Shinji. Her eyes widen and she starts to run for help. She goes into her house and calls the emergency number Touji gave her. She is immediately connected to Nerv. The voice of Misato Katsuragi is on the other end.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I need help. I need help, help me. Please, help me. Come quickly."  
  
"What? What's wrong? Who is this, and how did you get this number."  
  
"Shinji. Shinji is... he's lieing outside, he's... oh god... he's just... help. Come quickly, please. HELP HIM."  
  
"Shinji? Something's happened to Shinji? Where are you? WHO are you?"  
  
"I'm... I.. Hikari Horaki. Please, come quickly."  
  
"I'm sending someone now. Tell me, what's wrong? What happened to Shinji?"  
  
"He... I don't know, he's just... just lieing there- help him. He's bloody, and I think he might be... might be- HELP."  
  
"I'm coming as quickly as I can. Take the phone and wait outside. Just stay by him." Hikari takes the phone and waits outside.  
  
Shinji tries to open his eyes but can't. He groans.  
  
"Shinji?"  
  
'That voice... I know that voice. Misato!' He tries to speak, but he can't.  
  
"Be still, calm down Shinji. You're safe, you're in the Nerv hospital. There's been an accident.  
  
'An accident? Then all of that was a dream. It was all a dream. My mother is dead... Touji is... Rei isn't my sister. It was all a dream.' Then he hears the one voice that ruins that all.  
  
"Will my son be alright?"  
  
"Calm down Dr. Ikari. We don't know yet. Right now, we're still waiting for the results. It's amazing he's even alive after the kind of beating he must've taken."  
  
'My mother... but then... but why... ' Shinji makes one last groan, and then passes out. 


End file.
